Clik here to view.
Monday Massacres: Museveni vs Kasparov
Rumors being fueled by reports from a rival media house, brought to our attention by our now jobless receptionist, indicate that Grand Master Garry Kasparov is set to jet into the country and among...
View ArticleClik here to view.
The Summers’ Guidebook: How To Lie That You’ve Been Outside Countries And Get...
For normal people, it’s easy to go outside countries. You just go to the airport, ask where planes going to your destination are parked, get on a plane of your choice, pay the conductor and go. For...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Condom Shortage In Uganda: How To Have Sex The Economically Friendly Way
Kids in Uganda are starving, ADF rebels have regrouped for fresh attacks, Egypt is politically unstable and now we know why. There’s a new shortage of condoms in the country. People are stranded and...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Shoulda Stopped When | Ja Rule
So I took a stroll in a video library the other day, as you would, looking for something to hold me till the next illegal download was made available to ‘dude on the street with the stack of DVDs’. I...
View ArticlePSA: Ask Not What Buganda Can Do For You…
We interrupt our regularly scheduled programming for this kalango. The official way of looking at it… Oct 2013: Kabaka of Buganda commissions the MTN Uganda Mobile Money collection platform for the...
View ArticleSex And The univerCITY; A Campuser’s Diary
Dear diary, I have come to you in my darkest hour because if I go to the internet, it may leak like that sex tape everyone is talking about. Funny thing about that incident, the only thing that leaked...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Monday Massacres: Tusaba Gavumenti Etuyambe
No, we didn’t steal an editor from Bukedde. It’s a trending Luganda phrase for “Furaaaaaayideeee!!!” Even if it’s Monday. Seriously though, it’s a classic Shakespearean phrase for “We ask government to...
View ArticleOn Desire Luzinda: What the president should do
A few moons ago, Uganda and other neighboring continents were awash with pictures of a naked frame purportedly thought to be belonging to Desire Luzinda. “Desire, who?” The people, after sniffing such...
View ArticleThe Weekly News Roundup
In dry corridors news The week saw things. Yamawe! Socialite turned miner (She mines diamonds, lately) Zari released a sex tape and it has garnered a lot of revenue at Box Office. Okay, scratch the Box...
View ArticleOf New Year Resolutions
Gen. Sejusa: My New Year resolution? Ah, let me see. I have quite a lot. I might re-change my name to something that evoke more fear. I might resume my letter writing if I land on the fool that stole...
View ArticleIn the news this month…
Much to my consternation, the year is still young and as such it’s making stuff up as it slowly trudges along. Unfortunately, in the process, a lot of the stuff it’s chucking out at us happens to be a...
View ArticleMaria Kiwanuka Chats With Museveni. A Fly On The Wall Brings You The Convo
A few moons ago, President Museveni reshuffled cabinet. He basically meant, “I wear the pants in this country and every day I be’s reshuffling.” Old brooms were brought back to sleep some more. Some...
View ArticleClik here to view.
How To Avoid Getting Stuck in Mbarara.
It is said that KQ, the Pride of Africa with the exception of a few areas, had President Museveni stuck after failing to pick him from Mbarara. First, who or what is Mbarara? Mbarara is a landlocked...
View ArticleIn The News, This Week
Ever since this week yawned and woke up from its cold bed on Monday, it hasn’t gone back to sleep. It is an insomniac week. It needs its sleeping pills. However, a lot has happened in the paltry of...
View ArticleA STORY ABOUT A DUDE WHO COULD NOT SAY HI TO A HOT BABE
I am at this famous Indian video library on William Street buying bootleg versions of Modern Family after such a long, hard and hectic day. I am testing it in the DVD player to make sure it...
View ArticleBeneath the lies review: Reflections of us.
I could watch Flavia Tumusiime in anything. If she was in every program on UBC t.v, that would be my favorite television. If she returned to teen’s club on WBS, that station...
View ArticleAn Officer and an unfortunate Gentleman
NTV Uganda broke a story involving police brutality. This in turn drained our phones’ batteries as people forwarded the clip over and over. It also created the impression that we were actually up to...
View Article